What to do when your work-life looks good, but feels bad.
Updated: Sep 21, 2021
My client's are successful women. They have done well, been promoted and get good feedback. From the outside it all looks good, but, things can feel quite different on the inside. This is what what tell me…
I know logically that I’m good at my job. But I don’t always fully believe it. I get good feedback and I’ve progressed, so, I know it’s silly for me to feel like this but, I get into meetings and I don't always say what I want to say... I work for hours over-preparing and over-perfecting things... I worry about not know all the answers... I worry about giving direct feedback to my team or colleagues so I end up taking on too much myself...I want to feel confident and in-control, but I don't.
You might have the perfect job, the perfect career history and the perfect credentials, BUT, you will still feel worried about work on the inside if your thoughts are something like:
I am going to sound stupid
I have to know the answer to everything (and I don't!)
Someone’s going to find me out
I'm just not one of those confident type of people
If the most successful woman in the world was thinking these thoughts, she would feel bad too! And it is not silly to feel bad, it makes total sense. It doesn't matter how successful you are or how many promotions you get. When you are thinking like this, you will feel pretty uncomfortable no matter how much good feedback you get from your boss!
But here's the good news and PLEASE just imagine I am holding your shoulders and looking in your eyes while I say this; you do not have to feel like this forever. Even if you have been keeping these feelings to yourself for 20 years, you can change it so you feel calmer and more confident. My clients do it all the time and they don't quite believe it's possible at the beginning! Look at how Laura changed things working with me:
.....I have been able to progress from someone who didn’t like speaking in meetings to someone who is comfortable with giving a presentation to nearly 100 people.
If your work life looks good but often feels bad, I can help you. First, we identify the precise thought and feeling combinations which are creating what is happening right now. Second, we examine and question those current thought/feeling combinations and work out if you want to keep working with them. Then, we work to create and embed new thinking and feeling over time so you take different actions and get different results. Simple! But it will transform the way you show up and how you feel at work.
So, if you want to feel better about work there is room for you in my next programme round starting in October 2021. Interested in feeling calmer and more confident about work by December? Email me here firstname.lastname@example.org
Plus, if you want my free resource 5 ways your negative self-talk is holding you back at work, join the community here.