How to ask better questions.
Updated: Feb 16, 2019
Once a question is posed, your brain is like a heat-seeking missile for answers. So, take care of what questions you ask.
At Yes You, we think the power of great questions cannot be overstated; as a coach, questions are your main tool. Great questions get clients to set goals, discover hidden limiting beliefs and reveal new insights so we think a lot about questions, but I bet you don't.
Not all questions are created equal. Some are likely to get you more of what you want and less of what you don't. Here is an example, I am working on a project at work and there are issues, day to day it feels like hard work. But, I am committed to sticking with this project through to its completion in 6 months. Now, I can ask myself different questions about this scenario, here are two:-
1) Why should I stay on this project?
2) Why should I quit this project?
On first look, the difference between these questions doesn't seem stark. But try answering them; you get very different answers.
Remember that I wanted to stay on this project for the next 6 months despite the fact that there are issues. Asking question 1, 'why should I stay on this project?', will prompt my brain explore all the reasons why I do want to stick with the project. The feelings created by the answers I come up with, such as the work is really important to me, or, I need to get a whole project completed in my name in order to get a new job, are likely to strengthen my resolve and give me the boost you need keep going. If I ask myself question 2, 'why should I quit this project?' my brain will come up with a list of issues, which is likely to leave me feeling despondent and lacking the energy I need to continue.
So, both questions give you some insight on the situation. But which question gets you closer to the result you want?
Which question gets you closer to the result you want?
It's a old phrase, ask a good question, get a good answer. This example shows you what a good answer can be, something which creates the feeling you need to generate in order to succeed.