(Actually useful) algebra

Always thought X + X = Y the f*ck are we learning this? Read on.... Here's something I have learned from coaching, at this point, 100's of people on confidence: you cannot increase your self-confidence under the threat of force, punishment or failure. You increase your self-confidence with awareness, understanding, encouragement and gentleness. Your brain might disagree with me here. It might tell you that it needs to be harsh to you, because that is how you get things done. Because that is the most effective way of being. But can you imagine a forceful, punishing, shaming relationship would increase your self-confidence? No? Right. Can you imagine that a supportive, encouraging, respectful relationship would help you to increase your confidence? Yes? Right. We know instinctively that a forceful, punishing, shaming relationship with someone else would erode our confidence. When it comes to the relationship with ourselves, we somehow think it's a good idea. I'm not the best at maths, but this maths I know: Punishing + forceful + shaming = confidence erodes Gentle + encouraging + understanding = confidence increases Next time your brain wants to beat you up in the name of progress, remember this equation. It's probably the most useful bit of algebra you're ever going to learn. Love, Anna x