10 things you wanted to know about coaching, but were too afraid to ask
Updated: Oct 10, 2018
So many people have questions for me about coaching.
For all of you who I don't manage to speak to in person, I wanted to put a post here to answer some of questions which might have:-
I don't want to take over the world, I just have a few things I think I need help with, is coaching for me? Yes, if you want it to be. You don't have to be starting a business or making your next million. Want to work out how you can speak up more at work? Stop comparing yourself to other people? Start leading a life where you do your exercise class and stop drinking so much tea? Coaching doesn't judge your ambition, it just supports you to go from where you are to where you want to be, wherever that is.
Isn't it just people talking about their problems? - In a word, no! Coaching isn't therapy. We aren't digging around in your childhood trying to find the structural root of your issues, coaching is 'future focused'. That doesn't mean you cannot mention the past, or that it isn't important. But, we will start where you are, we look at where you want to be, then help you to work out how you are going to get there. If there are problems along the journey we will explore them to keep you moving forwards.
Do you just tell people what to do with their lives? No. I don't know how people should live their lives, only they know that. A coach can help you to reflect on what you want, and test what you tell them by getting you to look at things from a different angle, but they will not make any decisions for you. Coaching works like a trusting partnership, it isn't a case of coach knows best. They don't, you know best.
Cant people just do the stuff they need to do themselves without a coach? Yes, they can. No one needs a coach, they want one because its a powerful partnership which helps you get clear on what you want, and how you are going to get there.
Is it hard when someone is making a stupid decision and you can see it so clearly? See above! I cant know what's a stupid decision for someone's life. As a coach my role isn't to make a judgement. Holding a totally non-judgemental space for people to explore decisions is a privilege which we get to hold.
What actually happens during a coaching session? It depends! Coaching within a Yes You programme follows a pattern for the first couple of sessions where you can explore areas of your life which you want to look at during coaching, set an inspiring goal, then look at how you are going to reach it. Otherwise, the session is led by the client. The person who is being coached will determine what they want to get from the session.
How does having a conversation help someone? Good question. First it is important to say that a coaching conversation isn't like a regular conversation which you would have with a friend. Having determined a goal, or a particular outcome which you are working towards, a coaching conversation supports you to think through what action you need to take, and examine any thoughts or beliefs which might be stopping you. However, the coaching session is just the start. If nothing happens outside the session, nothing much is likely to change. By taking the action which you have committed to within the session change takes place.
Is it hard to be coached? Sometimes yes. Coaching conversations can be challenging because they are candid in a way which normal conversations aren't. It is hard to discover and confront things about yourself, such as limiting beliefs. If you seem uncomfortable or even on the brink of tears, a coach will not pull back. Instead they will support you to explore what is coming up. Between sessions when you are taking action, emotions and roadblocks can rear up and stall or stop your progress, especially if you are going after an inspiring goal. Your coach will be there to encourage and support you through the process without judgement.
What results do clients typically get? They typically become clearer, more sure of themselves and the things that are important to them. A defining feature is often a client going from 'this is happening to me' to 'this is what I am making happen'. That change feels powerful and I know they will take it with them when the coaching is at an end.
Who do you typically work with? I typically work with women aged over 35 who are urban successful professionals. They are multipods whose heads brim with new projects and creative ideas. But, after many years of starting and stopping, they have lost confidence in their ability to see things through, and have a fear making decisions. They are people who want to make a change in their lives, and they tend to be smart, but not too serious!
Over to you, what questions do you have about coaching?
Book a free intro call and we can answer any questions which you have via the website :-)